April 1, 2006

THE REAL (ESTATE) STORY
By Larry Underhill

BIG NEWS! New listing! Eastside alley house! One bedroom, one bath, no garage. Listed at $949,950. This place is cute! Don’t mind the slight pet odor; the carpets will be cleaned this week. At first I thought the price was a little optimistic, but my Seller explained that he has added extra insulation to the attic AND he has obtained a two-year roof certification. Better hurry on this one! Call me for details*.

ANOTHER NEW LISTING, this one in prestigious Sun West! Spacious home with loads of appeal. Custom floor coverings! Upgrades galore! Price? $139,950 will pay off the loan and closing costs and leave the Seller about $400.00. Why so low, you ask? My Seller says her spouse, who recently ran off with his secretary, emailed her with instructions to sell the house and send him the money. Call me for details*.

IN OTHER NEWS, have you heard of the “Yellow House” phenomenon? Experts from Market Research Group in Omaha have conducted a study of real estate markets nationwide. They’ve discovered that homes that are painted yellow SELL twice as fast as homes of other shades. Furthermore, their findings indicate that homes that have languished on the market without selling can be made more marketable with a simple coat of yellow paint (brighter hues seem to work best). “We think it has something to do with attraction to color, similar to the way bees are attracted to flowers,” observed Dr. Whit Mensa. The breakthough study dispels the longstanding myth that asking price is an important factor in how quickly a home sells. “Color is the thing,” says Dr. Mensa*.

I HAVE BUYERS who are seeking a home in the $500,000 range. I haven’t gotten them in front of a lender to determine what they’re qualified to buy, but I’ve shown them thirty homes over the past three months. They say they’re very well qualified because they’ve purchased over 100 lottery tickets and they plan to pay CASH for their new home when they win. Do you have a home you’d like to show these fine folks?* Incidentally, they’ve also expressed interest in the purchase of the Antioch Bridge if it ever comes on the market.

ZERO DOWN! ONE HUNDRED PERCENT FINANCING! NO QUALIFYING! Clive Slick, loan professional with Absolute Integrity Home Loans, is pleased to announce a new loan product tailor-made for those hard-to-qualify folks who need “special” financing. Although relatively new to the home loan business, Clive spent years studying the subject by correspondence. Now that he has been released, Clive says he’s eager to make a name for himself. Clive’s motto is, “If you have a pulse, you qualify!”*

LAST BUT NOT LEAST DEPT. Another new listing! Split-level three bedroom home in Stockton! This home was not originally a split-level, but recent ground movement has created a unique opportunity for the right Buyer. As you may know, some Stockton neighborhoods are built on former marshland, which has the tendency to shift. Step-down Living Room! Newly detached garage! This home is one of a kind. Is this the place you’ve been searching for? Call me for details, or read the last line of this column.

*Have a Happy April Fool’s Day! See you next Sat.

Statesman Realty
(209) 333 2380

1800-407-SOLD (7653)
Website: www.larrysellslodi.com

Website: http://www.larryunderhill.com/
Email: Larry@LarryUnderhill.com