April 8, 2006

THE REAL (ESTATE) STORY
By Larry Underhill

MY APRIL FOOLS DAY COLUMN was a huge success. The phone rang off the hook with people who wanted to buy that $139,950 Sun West home! I tried my best to make each paragraph as ludicrous as possible, but some folks still took me seriously. I guess when you’re skimming the paper for good deals, subtle humor doesn’t always register. When you see something that looks good, you pounce!

ONE GUY called and left his name and number on voicemail, only to call back a minute later to say, “It’s me again. Ya got me.” Another lady called and continued to read the column as she was leaving her message. When she reached the “Happy April Fool’s Day” part at the bottom of the piece, she read it out loud and said, “Oh. Happy April Fool’s Day. Never mind. Well, have a nice day anyway!” Classy lady.

I decided NOT to embarrass the folks who left messages by returning their calls, since they probably realized their error soon after they left the message. One thing about voicemail: You can’t retract the message once you’ve left it! All names and messages have been erased. Your secret is safe with me. That was the first time in nine years of writing this rag that April Fools Day fell on a Saturday, and I just HAD to enjoy it a little.

PRICE REDUCED! 600 Daisy Avenue was a good deal BEFORE this $10,000 price reduction. Now, it’s a GREAT opportunity for a first-time homebuyer or investor. Three bedrooms! Nicely remodeled kitchen! NEW COMP ROOF INCLUDED in this price! (Pick your color if you hurry). Large two-car garage! Nice back yard with lawn and patio. At $334,950 this one won’t last long! Come and see.

ANOTHER VALUE: 303 Rainier Drive is very much for sale! We have an accepted full-price offer, but it’s contingent upon the sale of a Bay Area home that has not yet sold! There’s a 72-hour clause in the accepted contract, which means you still have a shot! Great Westside value: 1814 square feet of comfortable home. Separate Living Room and Family Room! Tile roof! Large Laundry Room with deep sink, lots of cabinets, and a door to the back yard! There’s more to see. At $429,950, it’s no wonder it’s receiving such a lot of interest.

LAST WEEK’S COLUMN CONT’D: Another lady called regarding the Sun West “steal of a deal”: She got it. She said, “I’ll take THREE of ‘em! And it serves that rascal right!” She was referring, of course, to the yarn I had spun about the Seller’s husband running off with his secretary and emailing his wife to “sell the house and send me the money.” Folks, if I ever HAD a situation like that (I never have, though some have been close) I’d NEVER trumpet it abroad in the newspaper!

FUNNY how nobody called me with an offer to buy the one-bedroom one-bath (no garage) eastside alley house (“Don’t mind the slight pet odor…”) for $949,950. Thanks for humoring me. I promise not to zing you again for at least a week. See you next Sat!

Statesman Realty

(209) 333 2380
1-800-407-SOLD (7653)

Website: www.larrysellslodi.com
Website: www.larryunderhill.com

Email: Larry@LarryUnderhill.com