September 16, 2006

THE REAL (ESTATE) STORY
By Larry Underhill

TWO ANTENNAS met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

Sorry. My friend Chuck Deeter blessed (?) me with a slug of “punderful” jokes, all silly, some old as the hills. I can’t help myself. I’m going to inflict a few on YOU if you stick with me to the end of the column.

TWO CANNIBALS are eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

PRICE REDUCED! 1818 Mimosa Drive is now $399,950 for almost 1800 square feet of two-story charm! Near-new 50-year composition ROOF! Upgraded window treatments! More! Nothing left to do here. This is a clean, sharp home. Call me for a private showing.

DEJA MOO: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

JUST LISTED: 2074 Mammoth Way! Built in 2003, this 2247-square-foot home has over $5,000 in custom interior paint and decorating AND a spacious covered patio in back! Previously listed for fifty thousand dollars more, the new price of $539,950 makes this home the best in its class.

A JUMPER CABLE walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

“DOC, I can’t stop singing “The Green, Green Grass of Home.”
“That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
“Is it common?”
“Well, It’s Not Unusual.”

ANOTHER PRICE REDUCTION (FIFTY THOUSAND BUCKS’ WORTH!): 1705 Cape Cod Circle (Corner of Cape Cod and Lakeshore) has 2315 square feet of potential! This two-story three-bedroom two and a half bath home has an older shake roof, but roof inspector Larry Peters says that after minor repairs, he can issue a two-year roof certification. When you consider the new price of $399,950, this home is a value.

MAHATMA GANDHI, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (I apologize in advance) a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

AND FINALLY (You thought it would never end), there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Have a great week! See you next Sat.

Statesman Realty Lodi, CA
(209)333-2380
1-800-407-SOLD(7653)
www.LarrySellsLodi.com
www.larryunderhill.com
Email: Larry@LarryUnderhill.com